“Never Again” and Unlike Childbirth, I mean it!
We have moved many times in our lives. Each time we do it, we say “Never Again!” There are so many pieces in motion all at once, and like a clock and the human body, each part is connected, creating a cascade of other effects. In other words, when one thing goes out, it can totally throw off the rest. Yet despite the challenges and obstacles we have faced during this process, it is a very exciting time full of blessings just like my experiences with childbirth.
Here is an abbreviated accounting of events during the past few weeks that I hope provide you with a few laughs and maybe some helpful hints during your life transitions.
If you follow me, you know that my middle son got married last month and we also had our Brazilian family including our rambunctious fun 3.5-year-old granddaughter, Isabela, visiting. A Disney trip was thrown into the mix. In the middle of all of this, my husband got the official word that he received the job offer he was seeking in Virginia. (We had always planned to move back to the Old Dominion.)
Marriages, moves, and new jobs make the list of ten top life stressors. Here is the thing about stressors. While not all stressors are bad, they all affect our nervous systems which controls everything else like sleep, digestion, blood pressure, as well as emotional and mental capacities.
In full transparency, I have to admit I made a few really bad decisions because I was not operating on all cylinders. All of which I have told myself are important life lessons.
Moving Mayheim
Once the wedding and family visit were over, we were in full get-ready-to-move form. Every day we sorted, donated, segregated and packed only what we needed for the next four months until we found a new permanent home in Virginia. The movers were to pack most of the house for storage. At the same time, it was also full gear in getting our house prepared to be listed for sale.
In an effort to expedite things, I googled moving companies. Big mistake! Similar to googling medical symptoms you are experiencing; this process can be fraught with bad leads, misinformation and even fraudulent companies. Within minutes of getting google involved, artificial intelligence (AI) kicked in. We were being contacted by movers of all sorts from everywhere. I chose the wrong moving company because I did not do my “due diligence.”
A week before the move, I started getting phone calls from different cell numbers all purporting to represent our movers. Each one had a different title and a different story unfortunately. Have you ever seen the Three Stooges Episode about moving?
The process became more like a Blacklist episode—with each day another unbelievable and cagey character reaching out to us. It was only by the grace of God and Safeway Florida Moving company that we salvaged the situation. When the first mover did not show up because they wanted more money, I scrambled to find a mover who could accomplish our whole house in less than a weekend. They did. Lesson learned, hire a moving company with its own fleet, not moving brokers.
The day of the move felt like a sitcom. We had Joey, Rocky, Z, and a young man who holds the record for speed wrapping furniture running around our house, turning our lives upside down while singing and playing loud rap music. We thought we were going to get complaints from neighbors lol.
I fed them junk food all day (they did not want my healthy food) and my husband started brewing coffee around 8 pm in the evening when we realized it was going to be an all-night affair. They left at 3 am and we went to bed at 4 am. The alarm was set for 7 am because the next set of movers was coming to stage our home for sale. WE ARE TOO OLD FOR THIS!
All the Effort Was Worth it, don’t you think?
The stagers worked all day while I tried to clean up from the day before. I was told by our realtor, Lisa Gottesman, that the windows and floors and cabinets had to shine. Check out our listing here.
Good Stress, Bad Stress, It Affects Your Body the Same Way Over Time!
By Thursday afternoon when the house actually went on the market:
- I could not see straight.
- Every bone in my body ached.
- My muscles were screaming at me.
- My head was throbbing.
- My heart was pounding.
- Small things became big crisis.
- I was losing everything!
- I was overreacting to everything!
No amount of makeup could hide the bags under my eyes. All I could think about was sleep. Mark slept on the bathroom floor during the move, and I got creative with sleeping locations as well. Cooking a meal was out of the question. Teaching yoga was out of the question. I realized I did not remember being this tired in a long time.
All the years of mindfulness training did help in an important way. I was able to shorten these depleting scenarios by deeply breathing into my heart. I found some mantras to help me as well. Ohm Shanti Ohm…. Say that over and over again. It means “Peace in Body! Peace in Mind! Peace in Speech! Peace in Spirit!” Not only do the words have meaning, but the sounds have a calming effect as well.
Things have calmed down a great deal, and I have been able to grab visits with dear friends and my dad in anticipation of our move to Virginia July 1st. Slowly I am getting my energy and my nervous system back in balance.
Lessons Learned
It is downright difficult to maintain healthy routines during life’s changes and challenges. As a coach, these experiences are a reminder to me how important it is to have self compassion to stay healthy during big events (even good ones). Here are a few lessons learned from these recent events that might help you rebalance your nervous system during great changes you are experiencing in your life.
Too many events at one time will muddle your brain, so be prepared for things to go awry. When they do…
- Keep or develop a sense of humor.
- Get plenty of rest, even little cat naps.
- Keep up your faith-based practices. The Universe has your back even if it does not seem like it at the time.
- Start or continue a “Gratitude Practice”. Every night before I went to sleep, I recited all the things I was grateful for. I usually fell asleep before I finished.
- Find ways to get nutrition into your system every day. I have been drinking green juices packed full of everything healthy a lot. I buy a base of a juice and then use my smoothie maker to add in things like avocado, frozen blueberries, more greens and some coconut water for potassium.
- Find little mantras that you can repeat over and over again. I have been using things like “This too shall pass.” or “I know all will be well.” or “Trust in the process!”
I can’t wait to share with you the next chapter. Please stay connected with me!
With Heart,
Andrea
Thanks for sharing your moving experience. We had moved more than a dozen times and thinking this last time without moving any furniture, the move would be so easy. It was just as you experienced, every muscle ached…I blamed it on age. It was easier or maybe we were more resilient when we were younger. The information in your story will help others with their move and also with your mantras and gratitude practices. Keep us informed as to your next phase. Take care and please get some rest and relaxation. Good luck with your husband’s new job.
Thank you Donna for those beautiful comments and for your wisdom as well. We will stay in touch. Warmly, Andrea
Thank you Donna. I am so glad I got to know you recently and I am sure I will be visiting Kristine and we will connect again. Best to you and thank you for sharing your story as well. Warmly, Andrea
Love your blogs! Keep sharing your journey, we all learn and grow along with you. Best wishes!!
Thank you for always being there for me and reading my journey. We will not lose contact. X0X0 Andrea
Glad you have passed through this trial, Andrea! Your transparent and honest sharing is so real-life. Your heart- full wisdom and self compassion is so full of grace and is a great reminder for all of us. Blessings to you and your family in this new chapter. Can’t wait to see what new creations you unfold!
Dear Patti, I so appreciate your support and that you read my blogs. I hope we can reconnect in the future and that your life is unfolding in a beautiful way as well. Love, Andrea